Sunday, January 02, 2005
Ah, another gorgeous rocker. Just blogged an extended entry about him for Vintage Rock.
Posted at 12:53 am by
InnerLyly
Lenny Kravitz
Permanence
Saturday, January 01, 2005
I wish I could magically morph into Superman. (Being Superwoman would be too distracting.)
I wish I could fly past the atmosphere, the stratosphere, into near space.
I wish I could start flying, faster than the speed of light, 10 times faster, 100 times faster, opposite the rotation of the Earth.
I wish I could fly around the Earth enough times to turn back time. 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, 25 years in my case.
I wish I could do this and change our realities. Erase bad decisions. Erase hurt. Erase crimes and unfairness. Erase needless pain. Erase doubt and fear, the kind that causes us to take that easy but wrong path, the path of least resistance, the path that is wrong for us but that makes everyone else feel better.
I wish I could erase pain. But then, I would be God. And we can't have that, can we?
Posted at 06:28 pm by
InnerLyly
Wishes
Permanence
One of the ironies of life is that the very attitude that makes us boyant and giddy and fun to be with can rob us of being taken seriously by people we want to impress, that we want to like us. I seem to swing from one side of that fence to the other, at least in what I reveal publicly, I seem like a ditz. I've destroyed a number of my 'first impression' opportunities (I think) by putting on the happyfungirl mask and letting people walk away thinking "WTF?" I worry now that I leave people thinking that I'm an idiot. It affects what I blog about.
I wish I could remember that when I talk to people. That is where I really screw up. I'm not one of those people who always has the perfect comeback for every statement thrown at them. Part of it is that I've been accused of being aloof and serious; that was mainly back when I was shy, before I went to college. I broke out of that shell and became more outgoing but to this day still keep boundaries up, for the most part. So here I am, second guessing and wondering about so many situations and whether I've pushed away people that I want as my friends. And yes, I second guessed myself for half an hour while typing this.
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So I'm sitting here, right now, watching the beginning of the Rose Bowl, Texas vs. Michigan, and they're talking about 'The Impossible Catch' made by Noble Doss of Texas vs. Texas A&M in 1949. Why do I give a damn? His son, Dr. Noble Doss Jr., is speaking about his father. Dr. Doss is a respected OB/Gyn here in this city. He's also the doctor who was my OB and delivered my son 6 years ago. Weird what makes you sentimental.
Now how's *that* for a loss of gravity.....?
Posted at 03:12 pm by
InnerLyly
Loss of Gravity?
Permanence
Friday, December 31, 2004
My mind is racing now so all I can do is sit here and type. Looking at CNN, a significant portion of people on the Earth are in mourning as they ring in the New Year. Of course they balance the gloom and doom with a 3 minute recap of The Year That Was which trivialized everything down to a money shot. I thought: 'yea yea yea I've heard and seen it all before.' I guess that was a sign that I watch the news too much. I do see that the morning's leading story on every channel, about "laser beams shining in the pilots' eyes" has thankfully faded into the background. Someone will figure out that they can put some sort of coating on the cockpit windshield to block the lasers, the airlines will have another excuse to up the price, and that will be that.
But now it's finally sinking in with me. It's all in the eyes. The eyes of despair, the eyes of injured children worried about missing parents, the eyes of parents holding their dead children, the eyes of people desparate for relief supplies. I don't know how I can just sit here in comfort and be. Comfortable. I see the pain, I start to feel it, I begin to tear. I instantly detach and say 'poor people.' I cower in a corner and stare aimlessly at the ground. I am so small and inadequate and unworthy and selfish. I am damaged goods trying to heal.
Posted at 05:28 pm by
InnerLyly
In- and Un-
Permanence
